Perspective and Expectations

A dear friend of mine sent me the following quote:

"Instead of wishing away nine months of pregnancy. I would have stopped and stood in awe as I realized that was my one chance of orchestrating a miracle with my God"

I love it... It's so so hard to think of though when it feels like my insides are being turned inside out and I literally spend most of my life either hanging over the throne looking like a cat retching up an invisible hair ball or wishing I was.

Last night at about 12:30 Manly held me while I cried my head off about this baby and how much I love it and how special it is and how its OURS and I get to keep it and in the middle of the barf and sickness and exhaustion and moving and crazy emotions, I had not really thought about our baby much...I hadn't really though about how special it is and I had forgotten how badly I wanted it.

Then he held my hand and I talked his little ears off about how I expected to be the perfect pregnant lady and currently haven't worn makeup in weeks, and if I get my hair put up and clothes on.. its a good day!  Or how part of the reason I wanted a child was because I did not want to become selfish and too caught up in me and how I sort of had expected God to let me be selfish until the baby was born and then teach me to not be so self absorbed.  But that wasn't really working out for me too well.

But this morning, I have a different perspective,  This child.. OUR child, who made me both throw up and wet my pants simultaneously this morning, I love it and I love being its little hotel, I love that its the reason I cant button my pants (and I'm not just fat!!) and I am trying to learn to love all the little things about being its Mama, because I don't want to miss this... not a second of this miracle...  

Not what I expected, AT ALL but a miracle none the less... =)

A little Belly Picture

Baby was really hanging out today... that or I ate too much Ramen... hmmmmm ;-)

Odd Combinations

Currently Tummy has Doritos, cantaloupe, Gatorade, and ramen noodles in it, and weirdly enough its starting to settle for the first time since yesterday afternoon.. I think it is at least... =)  

On bad attitudes and boogers

So after a rough night last night and throwing everything up and the heartburn from hell... I took the day off and spent half of it sleeping and the other half cleaning a little and shopping for food (why do we have NO food in this house!).

Lets just say that somewhere along the way I had a little "attitude issue". It started at Target when I found out that they did NOT have popsicle molds.  So somewhat out of spite (and because Target is expensive), I went to Walmart. And had a bad attitude there, my shoes were simultaneously giving me a huge foot cramp and blisters and have you ever noticed that if you have a bad attitude EVERYONE annoys you... Poor sweet innocent old ladies were annoying me... And then I realized that I didn't have my drivers license and of course my car has no plates (just got it) and I am just waiting to get pulled over any second.  So we had a come to Jesus meeting and I repented of my bad attitude and prayed that I wouldn't get pulled over. I didn't.

So I got home and Mr Hottie folded laundry and I made "Super Mac" as we call it and  we watched AFV.  During which we may have found our first unresolvable parenting role preference clash. It went like this:
*both of us expressing our disgust at the big booger bubble blown by a small child on AFV*
Mr. Hottie: " You are going to be the booger parent right?"
Me: " I can't handle boogers."
Mr. Hottie: "I mean after you are pregnant of course!"
Me: "I still don't think I can handle them."
*loooooooong silence*

Hmm being pregnant and barefoot doesn't look all that bad if it means I don't have to do boogers.... ;-)

Sick

Manly and I are both sick, running fevers, I can't seem to eat anything and my heartburn is out of this world...oh shoot me now! ;-)

Thooose moments #1

You know those moments when after a lovely dinner party with friends and family when you get home, make a bee line for the bathroom, make it halfway to the bedroom after that and have to turn back and throw up...a lot.. Like chicken and green beans and brownies and whipped cream... And then realize you got puke all over yourself. Like really?? Yep. That happened.